Saturday, December 27, 2008

The Ironman Swim Leg

2.4 miles in the water is no small feat, maybe if you have a boat and a couple of oars, or better yet, a freakin' motor, that distance would be less daunting, but when it's only you and the water, it seems, well . . . far. The tools at my disposal to cover the long & lonesome 2.4: four limbs, a flawed mouth with it's own growing propensity to swallow copious amounts of water and what can only be described as a lead weighted lower body. My 4 limbs do not like to work with even a mild degree of synergy. They actually prefer to flail wildly with no goal in mind. Now, about that water attracting mouth, WTF? Anyone who has spent time in the open water or a pool has likely suffered the indescribably uncomfortable gas and bloating acquired after a period of breathing in the perfect combination of water & air. I have been home for 45 minutes and I just know have recovered from the aforementioned discomfort, which explains the current exceedingly high level of angst in my writing. Lastly, the lead weighted lower body; I can't imagine anything more inefficient than dragging your lower body, conveniently angled at a 45, through the water with two arms working in opposition.

Uncharacteristically, I am admitting fault and may be seeking professional help. I suck at swimming. I would like to say that after all of this time I am getting better, but to my dismay, I cannot. My ability in the pool bears striking resemblance to the grace shown by a new born giraffe on dull figure skates stepping onto the ice for the first time, drunk. I've read books on swimming, I've studied video, I've even watched elite swimmers train. Actually, the latter is the reason for this post. Today, at Founders Park in Islamorada, I had the distinct displeasure of being lapped several times by three prepubescent Dara Torres & Michael Phelps clones. When I finished with my workout, and they finished with their warm-up, I observed, and observed and observed. Nothing has helped, I'm not faster, I am not more efficient, and (let's pour some salt) I even look a little worse in my swim trunks.

Enough self-loathing, for now. Time to strengthen my resolve and get back on the proverbial horse. I've decided that I am going to videotape my own swimming; and with a little luck I will increase my own level of awareness in the pool and subsequently either increase my efficiency or my speed. I would be happy with either.

If that doesn't work, I will have to resort to plan B: one of those underwater propulsion devices used by SCUBA divers to cover greater distances faster. Ironman will allow that, right?

See you at the pool Flipper, you little bastard.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

Oh the swim will improve..just start doing it as much as you bike and run. If that doesn't work you can always go Waterworld on us and grow some gills. :)

kidscharitees@gmail.com said...

Swim with fins- over and over and over again. And then do it again. Using fins will train your legs the proper way to kick and strengthen your thigh's ability to hold your not so floatable legs closer to the surface. In fact it is pretty impossible not to kick properly wearing them-

Second- train with only your legs. Guessing that the arms are not the issue but are pulling most-or all of your weight. Swim lap after lap with only your legs. Just stick your arms straight out in front of you, pulling only once to breath.

Pretty typical with male swimmers that legs bond more with the bottom of the pool than the surface- in fact in many cases men are more efficient with a buoy between their legs than when actually kicking...too bad they won't let you use a buoy in the ironman.....perhaps some floatable ankle injections?

On the upside I've swam beside many male athletes with the same sinking-legs syndrome.

Another way to fix it? Just get faster....? Brilliant eh?

Eric said...

Great advice, thanks!!