Ironman Florida 70.3 aka Orlando Half-Ironman aka Eric's Untimely Demise

As I sit here, I wonder if I can accurately describe the degree of unpreparedness I feel for the frenetic 70.3 miles looming in the not too distant future. Have you ever sat for an exam that you conveniently forgot was scheduled for that day? Have you stood in front of a couple hundred people to deliver a speech that you haven't practiced? Have you stepped into the ring with a prize fighter without jumping rope and unleashing a couple of combos on a heavy bag? As the metaphors for my unpreparedness become weaker and weaker I hope you get the idea.

Last night I received my "Athlete Guide" for Ironman Florida 70.3. The arrival stimulated the epiphany-esque realization that I am woefully unprepared for this event. The race occurs in and around Walt Disney World Resort. The swim, more specifically, begins in the magical fresh water Bay Lake at Walt Disney's Fort Wilderness Resort and Campground. Fresh water represents a couple of things to me: one, no buoyancy whatsoever. . . uh-oh. The thought of 1.2 miles of dragging my lead filled legs around a lake annoys me more than anything. It used to frighten me, but the thought acts like a gnat setting up a drum store in my psyche, obtrusive and obnoxious. A couple of months ago I would have been apprehensive, a little scared and I likely would work twice as hard to make sure I reached horizontal on the swim. Not this time. Nope, just annoyed. What was I saying? Oh yes, fresh water also represents this: At least I don't have to swallow 16 gallons of salt water while I swim. Should be a little less irritating to the stomach, I hope.

Okay, enough about the swim. There must be some hope for the bike portion. I think I may have mentioned previously that South Florida is flat. The only 'hill training' I get is pushing a big gear into the wind. Exactly. After taking a look at the bike course elevation profile I looked down at my skinny little legs and unloaded a sigh. There are approximately 5000 'little' hills along the 56 mile course. No worries though, the largest climb is a measly 211ft. I haven't climbed 200 ft of stairs in the past year let alone trained for 5000 ascents in a couple of hours. I am not in trouble at all. Totally prepared. Awesome.

Ahhh, the run. A sense of peace falls over me when I think of the run. I can always come back on the run. This is my foundation, my strongest sport of the three, my fall back, if you will. Except, I have run only twice in the last two weeks. One of those times was from the house to the car in the rain. Does that count? 13.1 miles on the Asics express after 56 miles on the bike? When is this race again? 3 weeks you say? 21 days?

Do you think they'll push it back?